Today, however, it seems impossible to meet anyone offline. Dating apps have become the norm, and no one even looks up from their phones in bars. But that doesn’t mean you should completely let your guard down. It’s always best to approach only dating with caution, with the help of these tips.
1. Don’t Give Out Too Much Personal Information
Dating apps have a certain degree of anonymity. You can chat with someone on the app and if things don’t work out, you never have to talk to them ever again. Once you’ve unmatched, they have no way of reaching you. Not only can this limit any awkward situations, but it can also help you out if someone on the app made you feel unsafe.
However, to stay completely anonymous, you have to be careful with what information you choose to reveal, and when you reveal it:
Your last name: Some apps force you to use your full government name. But if they don’t, maybe you should just use your first name. Especially if you have a unique last name. Your social media accounts: It can be fun to connect your dating app to Instagram, to show off even more pictures, but it’s also a perfect way for someone to find you. Even if you didn’t match. Your phone number: Many people would ask to switch the conversation to WhatsApp, but don’t feel forced to give your number until you feel comfortable with that person. Your home or work address: Probably best to never share this, until you’ve met the person and learned to trust them.
2. Check if They Are Verified
Some apps, like Tinder, Bumble, and Grindr, give users an option to get verified. That means that they have to somehow prove to the app that they are a real, genuine person. It might be with a photo ID, their phone camera, or other documents.
If someone went through the process to get verified, you can tell that they are serious about dating. They are less likely to be a catfish and are more trustworthy. You can see this verified status with a blue checkmark.
With people who are not verified, there are still ways to determine their level of seriousness. Look to see that they have more than one profile picture. Also, ensure that their biography and entire profile are filled in. Empty profiles are a big red flag.
3. Ask for a Phone or Video Call Before You Meet
Before you take the plunge and meet someone in person, try to get them to talk to you on the phone. Sometimes, a person will be full of charm in texts but will give off a completely different vibe when you actually talk to them. Additionally, in conversation, they don’t have time to think about the perfect answers, and may reveal things about themselves that can be a turn-off.
A video conversation is even better, in the sense that you can see that you’re not being catfished. You can tell if the person on the call is the same one in the pictures, and you can learn more about their personality from their body language and facial expressions.
To top it off, some apps have the video or call option within the interface, so you don’t have to reveal your phone number too soon.
4. Look Into Their Background
Say you already talked to them, and decided to meet in person—a little digging into their background can’t hurt. Just to make sure there’s nothing you need to worry about, like disturbing images on their socials, an alliance with hate groups, or even a criminal record.
The easiest way to do this is to do a quick Google search for their name, alongside their city or workplace. You can also track down their Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and go over posts from the past few weeks, nothing too invasive—just covering your bases.
If you can’t find any information about them online, try a reverse image search to see what comes up. No online presence could be a cause for concern. Tinder also lets you run criminal background checks on your matches, while there are other background check websites if you don’t use Tinder.
We don’t suggest a background check before every date, there’s certainly room for discretion. If your gut is telling you that something doesn’t feel right, go for it. If not, just a quick Google search will do.
5. Meet in Public and Share Your Location
This might sound obvious, but since you’re meeting a stranger for the first time, make sure that you’re not alone with them until you feel absolutely comfortable. This means that you make a plan to meet somewhere public, like a bar or a restaurant.
You should also get there by yourself, so you’re not dependent on their ride home if things go south. To make matters even safer, tell a friend or a family member where you plan to go, and even share your location on your phone if possible.
That way, if they see you’re not where you said you’ll be, they can call you and make sure you’re okay. Or worst case, call the police. But let’s hope it never comes to that.
Always Trust Your Gut
Despite all the tips that we provided in this article, online dating is nothing to be scared of. When done right, dating apps should be a fun way to meet new people and experience new things. So it’s best not to be anxious about it before you even start.
Use your common sense and trust your gut to tell you when someone feels off, or a situation is not comfortable. Remember, you always have the power to say no and walk away, especially if you feel that your safety is at risk.
